STALKER!
by Bella Shia
Summary: Kaiba has a stalker. The end.
1. Chapter 1

Seto Kaiba walked into his office, opening the laptop.

He had a _very_ bad week. Rubbing his temples, he clicked open a new e-mail. It read:

To: Seto Kaiba  
From: Your Stalker

Kaiba stared. That was definitely not a good sign. He wondered if he should tell his younger, brother but he didn't want to worry him and he also didn't know what to expect from him right now. _Damn puberty _he thought. For some strange, unexplainable reason, curiosity got the best of him and he was compelled to open it. _How could this week get any worse_? He wondered.

How wrong he was…

* * *

CLIFF HANGER! Now you'll have to come back and read the rest! xD


	2. Chapter 2

Look at the reviews! Yay, I'm happy! I want to give you all candy bars! Think Willy Wonka can send candy through computers? Anyway, to my reviewers... THANK YOU! Please review this chapter, I want to know what you think!

**KFF**: Uhh... I forgot the rest... (Just kidding... I'm ditsy but not THAT ditsy) Here's more!

**BubusukeHiME**: Don't worry there's lots more where this came from, and as you can see I took your hint.

**Luna**: So true! But you helped with writing this, stop reviewing me! (And tell anyone who the stalker is and you DIE)

**Darksoulki**: I updated for ya!

**Booma-Chan**:YES KAIBA, RUN! Muhahaha - cough, cough - haha

**Kaiba fan**: Okay, here's more! Don't hurt me!

**Beautiful Suicide**: I updated, but you don't find out who the stalker is in this chapter... that would be to soon.

**Willowwind Adurois**: -sticks foot out and trips Kaiba as he goes down stairs- No Kaiba I didn't trip you. -shifty eyes- What do you mean "then why didI fall"? Maybe no one has to trip you for you to fall... Maybe you're just clumsy, ever consider that?! Uh-oh! -runs and hides, then peeps out from behind plant- Thanks! I like writing funny stuff, and don't worry this one issn't that short! Well, here it is, I better go! -runs and finds better hiding spot-

* * *

Kaiba slowly scrolled down and began to read.

_Dear Seto Kaiba_,

_Everyday I gaze into your living room. But I hate you. Damn. I'm a hypocrite. I think I should go to therapy… Do you? I will. Do you know one? _

Kaiba paused, and thought, "What in…" He continued.

_Your eyes are so hot. But you wear those weird outfits. Do you have them made specially made for you? I wouldn't know. Oh wait. I would. I am your stalker._

Again Kaiba paused, eye twitching. This person had some serious issues.

_Your so stupid, conceited and thick headed. But there's no other man like you. Who else could say those things you say? Act the way you act? _

Kaiba narrowed his eyes, and growled, "Freak."

_Anyway. I love you. And hate you. I think it's a love hate thing. Like in the movies, you know? Like Romeo and Juliet. But…our family's aren't at war. Crud. I love you! Wait…I already said that… ANYHOW. I'll stop now. Good bye, Seto. You hot man you._

_Love, your stalker. _

Kaiba twitched, and twitched again. Then he jerked back into reality as Mokuba come downstairs. He quickly minimized the e-mail and lowered the screen of the laptop, "Hello Mokuba."

Mokuba glanced at the laptop, "Erm...Seto, Rolin needs to talk to you about something. He didn't say what…"

Kaiba nodded stiffly and left, muttering thanks. Kaiba glanced once more at the laptop as if it were a bomb about to go off.

Mokuba went to the door and watched as his brother went down the hall. He then dashed back to the laptop and opened the screen. He saw the icon bar for an email open. He clicked and began to read. When he finished he leaped up and blinked a few times, "Oh…my…god."

He heard footsteps coming from the hallway. He quickly slammed the laptop closed and left the room hastily.

A few minutes later, Kaiba entered his office, immediately going for the laptop. He opened it and muttered to himself, "I minimized that…" and then screamed "MOKUBA!"

Mokuba stepped into the office, "Yes big brother?" He said innocently as possible, smiling.

"Did you read my e-mail?"

"Maybe…kind of…sorta…yea." Mokuba murmured looking at his shoes, "I swear, it was open! Well…minimized. But still open!"

Kaiba raised a brow, silent.

Mokuba then spoke up, "I really hope that's a girl, Seto."

Kaiba choked on his own spit, "Mokuba! What have you been watching!"

"Nothing, Seto. I didn't get that from the TV!"

"Sure. Just, go do something…and…be careful of what's on TV."

Mokuba nodded.

"Oh and," Kaiba avoided his younger brother's eyes. "Make sure we get blinds for the living room…"

"I will." Mokuba said, and left.

Kaiba didn't want to worry Mokuba, but now he was gone, he was going to track down his stalker. After all, he had one of the best computer systems in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

Yay, reviews! -dances- Thank you all. I hate when people read fics and don't review. But my reviewers, obviously, did review so you guys are awesome! So, this chapter is pretty plain. Sorry, I promise to update fast!

**Darksoulki**: I think that anything could be better than my first chapter, it was only about 118 words!

**Luna**: Quit reviewing me! xD It's practically reviewing yourself, you help me write it!

**BubusukeHiME**: Why yes, yes I do like torching people... I MEAN, I'm innocent, innocent I tell you! You honestly think I'd tell you the stalker in the _second_ chapter?And sorry, this chapter is short, but the next one should be good.

**Booma-Chan**: I know, his eyes are so hot! And that silver trench coat could like, take Mokuba's eye out! I mean, Mokuba is the same height as those points, poor kid will louse his eye sooner or later! And sorry, this chapter isn't that good, but I promise my next one you guys should really like!

**Willowwind Adurois**: You'll find out who the staler is sometime. -cough- after 13 chapters-cough- I didn't say anything... -shifty eyes-

**Kuro**: No you don't... Sorry. Luna and I decided to change it.

**KFF**: Hey, I'm loony? Actually, I already knew that. :D Oh, and so everyone knows, I was afraid if I made the e-mails In Character for the stalker, people might figure it out, so the stalker is very OOC. I wrote what I would write if I stalked Kaiba... because of course I don't. -shifty eyes-

* * *

It was a few days after his first e-mail from his stalker, and Seto Kaiba took his seat in his office. His bad week turned even worse when he got a letter from his stalker. Not to mention a certain mutt (A/N: Wonder who that is…)called his house at 5 in the morning when he just fell asleep. 

**Flashback**:_  
_**Kaiba woke to the ring of his phone "Hello" he said.  
**

**"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way… we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year… Deck the halls with-" but Kaiba finally figured out what it was and had hung up, pulling out the cord.**

Waking from his flashback, he winced and went to his e-mail. With a sinking sensation in his stomach, he found an e-mail that said:

To: Seto Kaiba  
From: Your Stalker

Kaiba groaned inwardly. The last thing he wanted was another e-mail from his stalker. He leaned back in his chair, looking at the ceiling, silently cursing his stalker, whoever she was. (He refused to believe it was a guy.) Kaiba thought about a few nights ago_…_

**Flashback**:  
**Kaiba had spent the better part of the night determined to track down his stalker. "Finally" he muttered as he successfully tracked it to a computer café.**(A/N: No clue if there are computer cafés in Japan but please work with me.)

**Kaiba went to his limo and went to computer café right then and there. "Damn" he said angrily, seeing a "Sorry, we're closed" sign in the window.**

**"I'll come back tomorrow" he told himself and went back in the limo.  
**

**Early next morning he and Mokuba went back to the café. Kaiba opened the door and found the man in charge. "I demand to know who sent me an e-mail from your café!" he told the man.  
**

**"I'm sorry sir I don't know." **

**"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW! I NEED THIS INFORMATION!" Kaiba cried shouted. **(A/N: Poor manager man…)

**"Seto please, calm down. It's not his fault." Mokuba said. **

**"Well he's the one running it isn't he? He should know!" **

**"Seto come on, let's go home." **

**Angrily, Kaiba left, followed by Mokuba.**

Kaiba shock his head and clicked the e-mail open.

_Dear Kaiba,_

_Hello hottie. Well, I wont say much now, but_: _have you looked at the date lately? That's right. It's almost Mokuba's birthday. Yes, I know when Mokuba's birthday is. July seventh. And yours is October twenty-fifth. Good-bye my love_. _Wait, I hate you… No, I love you…_

_Love, your Stalker _

Kaiba stared at the computer screen, mind blankly thinking he had to plan something for Mokuba's birthday.


	4. Chapter 4

**Willowwind Adurois**: Stalling? Innocent little me? Why yes, yes I am... And thanks for my reviews on this and my other story.

**Booma-Chan**: Yes poor Mokuba. he he.

Okay, I know the last chapter pretty much sucked. Here's the next chapter. Review! hopefully this is better than last chapter.

* * *

The night of Mokuba's birthday, Mokuba had some friends from school over for party.

Which turned out to be a hundred children, running, screaming, and causing mass confusion in the Kaiba household. (**A**/**N**: Wow, Mokuba's popular… now I need a drink.. Be right back… Back. I got Sierra Mist, for those who care…)

To add to Kaiba's horror, that Saturday, the Yu-gi-oh gang came over."Happy Birthday Mokuba!" Yugi said, coming out of the car with a gift wrapped in lime green paper.

"We brought balloons!" Tea called (who happened to be wearing flip fops).

Kaiba blinked. She had gotten balloons that said 'Friendship' in orange writing.

"Uhh… thanks." Mokuba said.

"We brought a piñata!" Joey and Tristan called. Tristan had a bat slung over his shoulder.

"Uhh… thanks." Mokuba said again, staring at the piñata.

"Get out!" Kaiba demanded coldly, pointing to the street.

"Oh, come on Seto… They brought all this stuff, let them stay for a little while? Please?" Mokuba said, giving his best puppy dog eyes.

"Fine…" Kaiba gave in. "Only a little while."

So quickly Mokuba and the Yu-gi-oh gang set up their little party.

Tea decided to get a drink, but all the ice had melted. "Um, Kaiba, all the ice melted." Tea informed him.

"So?" Kaiba asked, sounding extremely uninterested.

"But… the drinks are warm!" Tea complained.

"There's ice in the kitchen." Kaiba said, pointing to a door.

So Tea went into the kitchen, bringing the soda. She opened it and it fizzed all over her shirt. "Awww… I liked this shirt…" she muttered. She to the refrigerator and pressed the dispenser for the ice, which spilt all over the floor. "Darn" She said, picking up all the spilt cubes. She put the in the sink and went to get her drink, when she kicked an ice cube she didn't see before. She started kicking the ice cube around the kitchen for some unexplainable reason. Then she stopped, thinking how childish it was to be kicking ice around a kitchen. She picked it up and threw it in the sink and she got the bottom of her flips wet and experienced flip flops wearers know that flip flops are absolutely lethal when wet so it wasn't long until: BOOM. She slipped on the wet floor.

"What was that?" Yugi asked

"Uhh… MONKEYS!"

"Uh… Okay..." Yugi said uncertainly.  
_  
Later_

They were all sitting around casually when Mokuba grabbed a balloon. "Seto, will you play Keep It Up?" Mokuba asked.

"No." Seto answered coldly.

"We'll play with you Mokuba." Joey offered.

"Thanks guys, but I really want Seto to play. Please Seto?" Mokuba asked, giving Seto the puppy dog eyes again.

"Fine…" Kaiba agreed.

"Yay!" Mokuba said, giving Seto a big hug. "Let's go!"

What began as a friendly birthday game quickly turned into an all out war between Kaiba and Joey.

Everyone else gradually stopped playing and stared at the two.

"That all you got rich boy?"

Yami boredly started to softly sing "If I were a rich boy… duna duna duna " Yami stopped, flushing slightly. "I heard that one the radio" he mumbled.

Everyone sort of stared until Joey chucked the balloon at Kaiba's head… and the war raged on.

Suddenly, a large crash sounded from Kaiba's glass pool house.

"Take cover!" Joey yelled, jumping right into the pool, which happened to be in the shape of KC just like on Kaiba's belt.

Yami blinked, looking at the pool. "You really are a bit obsessed, no offence." he told Kaiba

Then Kaiba saw what made the hole in the glass. It was a small, black tape recorder. He pressed the play button. An automated voice said "Kaiba check your driveway"

They all stared at one another and headed out to Kaiba's drive way.

"Oh…my…god" Mokuba said, glancing nervously at his older brother.

Spray painted on his driveway, in bright neon yellow paint was the message:

_Dearest Seto_,  
_  
I love you… I hate you. I'm undecided. This is confusing. You are so hot. I think that all the time and each time it gets truer and truer. Your blue eyes are so hot. Then you're a stupid, arrogant, conceited, jerk… But still a stupid, arrogant, conceited, HOT jerk. Wow… this should be in some romance novel or something…__Well… there's no more space on your driveway…_

They all stared at one another, and then at the writing, then back at each other.

Kaiba twitched.

The rest were to afraid to say anything, not wanting to make Kaiba mad.

One by one, they silently went back into the house, all pretending that never happened.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the delay! I no longer have study hall. I miss it, I always wrote in study hall...

**Booma-Chan**: Thank you so much for all your reviews. You reviewed every chapter and that makes me very happy!

**Willowwind Adurois**: Same for you. I'm glad you like this one and my other humor story as well. Thanks for all you're reviews!

**emotionalanime**: Thanks!

**yamiseto'sgrl**: Here you go!

**Polynix**: You're reviews are so entertaining! Enjoy.  
**  
Zebidee**: Don't kill me!I updated!  
**  
Happy Sun**: Well, I hope you like the chapter!

Without further ado, the last chapter...

* * *

Kaiba sat working, at his desk.

A few days ago he had been having a bad day. Now he was having a bad week.

Kaiba had gotten even more e-mails. He was almost getting used to them. Almost. One could never fully get used to those freaky e-mails.

Mokuba knocked on his door. "Come in Mokuba." Kaiba said, not glancing up from his laptop.

"Seto… It's dinner time." Mokuba said.

Kaiba checked the time at the bottom corner of his laptop "So it is. What do you want to eat?" he said, still typing. The cooks could make anything.

Except what Mokuba wanted. "Can we go to McDonalds?" Mokuba asked his older brother hopefully.

(A/N: I think there are McDonalds in Japan…If not, please work with me.)

Kaiba looked up. "McDonalds?" he asked.

Mokuba nodded.

"Why not…" Kaiba said at Mokuba's pleading look.

"Yes!" Mokuba exclaimed, giving his brother a hug.

So they got in the car (You know, the one they bought in the Dartz series that Mokuba wanted and Kaiba dropped a check for a huge amount of money and was all "Keep the change") and headed for the local 

At the drive through, an irritating voice asked "Can I help you?"

So Kaiba ordered.

"You wanna super-size that?" the person asked in that irritating voice.

"No" Kaiba said.

"Why not? You on a diet?" the person asked. Kaiba stared at the ordering pole/box thing. (What is that called?)

"Seto doesn't need a diet…" Mokuba said, looking strangely at the ordering box as well.

"Yea right. Stepped on a scale lately Kaiba? Bet not. You know you'd break it!" the person said.

"Wheeler!" Kaiba said.

"Maybe…" Joey said.

"Louse the phony voice mutt." Kaiba said.

"IM NOT A DOG!" Joey said, forgetting to talk in the irritating voice, but quickly went back to it as he said. "You want fries with that?"

"Yes. That's why I ordered the meal, because it came with fires." Kaiba said, trying to remain calm. "Mokuba, are you sure you want McDonalds?" Kaiba asked.

Mokuba gave a half wince, half smile, meaning "yeah…"

"Want cheese on those fries?" Joey asked.

Kaiba closed his eyes briefly, doing his absolute best to maintain his self control. "Why would I want cheese on my fries?" he asked, gripping the steering wheel rather tightly in anger.

They could hear Joey take a big breath before he said "Cuz it's good" in a satisfied sort of way.

"No. I do not want cheese on my fries." Kaiba said slowly.

"You sure?" Joey asked.

"Yes."

"You really sure?"

"Yes."

"You really _really_ sure?"

"YES!" Kaiba said angrily

Joey was about to say something, probably "You really really _really_ sure?", but Mokuba said "I don't want cheese on my fries…"

"Fine, but only because Mokuba doesn't want it!" Joey agreed. "You want pineapple with your fries?"

"Moran…" Kaiba muttered.

"I don't want pineapple on my fries either…" Mokuba said

"Oh fine…" Joey said, "What about drinks?"

"Two Cokes." Kaiba said.

"You sure you don't want yours to be diet, Kaiba?"

Kaiba grounded his teeth. "I'm warning you mutt."

"I'M NOT A DOG!" Joey yelled, forgetting his phony voice once more, but went back to it as he said "Want a monkey with that?"

"Wheeler!" Kaiba said angrily.

"Come up to window number one." Joey said.

When they pulled up, Joey decided to give up on his irritating voice and was talking normally. As he handed them their food he said "Since I know ya Kaiba, you can have a toy." He said, smirking.

Kaiba reached for the food, silent.

"Come on, you know you want one! Its Barbie!" Joey prompted, grinning evily.

Without a word, Kaiba let the food drop, pulling away. "We're going to Burger King." he told Mokuba darkly, as Joey climbed out the window and stared eating the food on the ground.

They got Burger King and were heading home when Kaiba spotted Rebecca Hawkins glancing around as she entered the computer café.

Kaiba pulled in, quickly exiting his car. "Stay here." he told Mokuba as he shut the car door.

Finding Rebecca, sure enough, he saw she was typing an e-mail.

"Rebecca?!" Kaiba said, shocked.

"Uh… no." Rebecca said. "I'm Jessica." she said in a high voice.

Kaiba shot her an irritated expression, at the end of his patience. He shoved her out of the way and quickly read what she had written.

A stalker letter.

Kaiba looked at her, and then left without a word.

As Kaiba got in the car, one look at his older brother's face and Mokuba knew. "_Rebecca_'s been stalking you?!" Mokuba said.

Kaiba said nothing.

Kaiba got home and instantly called Rebecca's grandfather, Arthur Hawkins, and straightened everything out. Or so he thought.

**A few days later: **

Kaiba clicked open his e-mail. Another stalker letter was there. He stared at the screen. _Impossible_ he thought. Angrily he grabbed the phone and dialed Rebecca's number.

"Hello." Rebecca said.

"Rebecca, stop stalking me!" Kaiba said.

"I did. Grandpa won't let me e-mail you any more…" Rebecca said. She sounded disappointed.

Kaiba couldn't detect a lie in what she said. "Oh. Bye." he said and quickly hung up. _Her e-mail must have gotten here late_… Kaiba thought to himself. But that was not the case.

**A day later:**

Kaiba's phone rang. Kaiba picked it up "Hello." He said.

"Hi Kaiba." Yugi said.

"Yugi?' Kaiba asked.

"Yea. Um… Kaiba, Tea's been stalking you."

Kaiba held the phone out at arms length, staring at it. He slowly put it back against his ear. "What?"

"I just found out. We were walking to school together and a scrapbook filled with pictures of you fell out of her backpack. Then she admitted she's sent you e-mails and is stalking you." Yugi explained.

"Oh." Kaiba said.

"Don't worry, she won't be stalking you anymore Kaiba. I'll stop her. Bye." Yugi said, and hung up quickly.

Kaiba hung his phone up and stared at it, left eye twitching violently. To bad there was more. Poor Kaiba.

**A few days later: **

Kaiba's phone rang. Kaiba picked it up. "Hello."

"Hello. It's Marik. I'm sorry, Kaiba, my sister's been stalking you. She got a laptop and I caught her sending you a strange e-mail…I thought I should let you know." Marik said.

Kaiba hung up, extremely disturbed. He started twitching again.

**A few days later:**

Kaiba's phone rang. Kaiba picked it up. "Hello."

It was Yugi again. "Hi Kaiba. I found out Mai is stalking you too… I'm really sorry. Bye"

Kaiba hung up. He started twitching violently. _This is too much_… he thought.

**A few days later:**

Kaiba's phone rang. He picked it up. "Hello." he said.

"Hi." Joey said.

"What do you want Wheeler?"

"Uh… Serenity is… stalking you. Bye."

Kaiba let the phone drop from his hand, twitching once more. _Everyone is stalking me_! He thought to himself. He hung the phone up, and a few moments later it rang again. He could almost hear a neighbor saying "Seto Kaiba? My daughter is stalking you, I'm sorry. It wont happen again."

As he stared at the ringing phone, twilight zone music started to play. (DuDu DuDu) "AHHH!" he screamed.

* * *

Well, my days of stalling are over. PLEASE review and let me know what you think of the ending!


End file.
